First baby vs. subsequent babies

For anyone who has (or is considering) more than one glorious offspring.  I wrote this shortly after the birth of my 2nd daughter in 2003.  Thank you for the inspiration, girls!

First baby:

Your rocker-glider with matching ottoman is a relaxing, soothing place to nurse

Subsequent babies:

Your rocker-glider with matching ottoman is the most thrilling piece of indoor playground equipment ever invented – especially when Mommy is trying to nurse the baby in it

First baby:

You sterilize the pacifier in boiling water before giving it to the baby

Subsequent babies:

You pop the pacifier in the baby’s mouth, then realize that your older kid has been chewing on it and/or feeding it to the dog

First baby:

The swing chairs and bouncy seats are a source of soothing comfort for you and your infant

Subsequent babies:

The swing chairs and bouncy seats are a source of constant ear-splitting tantrums from your older kid, who repeatedly attempts to confiscate them for her dolly and /or herself.

First baby:

The musical toys are a great source of stimulating and entertaining your baby

Subsequent babies:

The musical toys are a source of migraines for mommy, when the older one plays them all at once and/or continuously presses the stop-start buttons for the baby hip-hop effect. This effect is intensified when the batteries start to die (which they frequently do with the constant abuse) and the music warps out of tune – but somehow still stays just as loud.

First baby:

You look forward to napping when the baby naps

Subsequent babies:

You look forward to napping when the youngest kid leaves for college

First baby:

You are afraid that if anyone other than mommy or daddy touches that fragile infant, she’ll break

Subsequent babies:

You let your toddler give your infant a big bear hug, and realize that both are just fine